Misanthropic Cognac and Benevolent Gunshots

File this one under things “Things I hate”…

First of all, I hate the 15th century morality play “Everyman” and my propensity to settle on the most pretentious topics for projects in the entire world. As if writing a paper on it wasn’t bad enough procrastination has settled in and as I get closer and closer to the due date (tomorrow at 8 AM) I am developing less and less of an inclination to do the fucking thing. FML. So anyway, here goes a rant about something that I just realized I hated this weekend.


I fucking despise people who wear fake glasses. Not like fake sunglasses, fake legit reading and sight-enhancing glasses just for the sake of fashion. I honestly cannot think of anything that is more obnoxious than going to a party and seeing some fucker with a pair of fake Ray Ban Wayfarer eyeglasses. It makes me want to induce vomiting just to avoid looking at them. As if wearing super-cool, gnarly, glasses-you-bought-from-Salvation-Army with the prescriptions in them wasn’t bad enough, now you have to add the icing on the cake by not even needing them! As someone who actually requires glasses and realistically can’t wear contacts on a regular basis, I am offended when I see this happening. Disgusting wannabe hipsters should not tread on the gafas territory.


What is even worse, though, is when people whom actually need corrective lenses put on contacts and then their awesurm-hypp fakies. God. Then on facebook you see pictures of them wearing about 18984 different eyeglasses. I just want to call them out on it and for being repugnant morons. There is no reason to do so! Just find a pair of glasses you like and fucking wear them! UGH. People who do that are just the pits. Anywho, this concludes my rant. Our next installment of “Things I hate…” will feature Hipster Rat-tails, the fashion equivalent of pandemic Swine Flu.